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Unanswered Questions

Where does all the white go when the snow melts?
What is an occasional table the remainder of the time? 
Why do we say the alarm went off when, in fact, it went on?
If a dwelling catches fire does it burn up or does it burn down? 
If everyone lost 5 pounds would it throw the earth of its gravitational pull? 
Where does weight go when people lose it? 
How do you draw a blank? 
If planets are in the sky, are we in the sky too? 
Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn't they be more specific and say "employees of this place only!? 
If shampoo comes in so many colours, why is the lather on your head always white? 
If you choke a Smurf what colour does it turn?
If Snickers satisfy, why do they make King Size? 
When pigeons walk their heads bob up and down really fast, doesn't that give them a bad headache? 
Why don't you ever see baby pigeons? 
How can there be a competition for solo synchronised swimming? 
Why do people say "It's always in the last place you look"? Of course it is always in the last place you look, what kind of moron would keep on looking after he'd found it?
Why is a building called a building when it is already built? 
Why is there only one Monopolies and Mergers Commission?
If one of the synchronize swimmers drowns, do they all have to? 
Why is it called a Doctors' Practice? 
If the No. 2 pencil is so popular, why is it still No. 2?
If you butter a piece of toast and drop it, it lands butter side down.
If you drop a cat it always lands on it's feet.
What would happen if you buttered the back of a cat and dropped that? 
People Who Ask 'Can I Ask You A Question?"
When A Cop Pulls You Over And Asks You How Fast You Were Going. You Should Know Pal You Pulled Me Over.
When Something Is New And Improved. If It's New It Can't Have Been There Before But If It's Improved It Must Have Been There Before. 
How Some People Will Get Off Their Lazy Asses And Search The Whole House For The Remote Control And Yet Won't Go And Change The Channel On The Set Manually. 
If people say it's the best thing since sliced bread, what was the best thing before sliced bread? 
If a fly had no wings is it a "walk"? 
Why do Kamakasi bombers wear helmets? 
Why is the lethal injection needle sterilised? 
Why is there an eject button on the remote when you have to get up to get the video?
Why do you drive in a parkway but park in a driveway? 
Why do they sell cigarettes at gas stations?
Do bees get wax in their ears? 
Has anyone ever admitted to having an ugly baby? 
If the Beatles were so good why did Oasis have to rewrite all their songs? 
Why are there no TV adverts for pencils?
Why do parking meters only take 20p coins - you never ever have any to put in? 
Why do radio DJ's play a great song then don't tell you who sings? 
Why is there always someone behind you when driving in quiet country lanes? 
Why do priests sing in church when its obvious that they can't sing for England? 
Why, on radio shows, do they always talk about the most interesting item at the end of the show?* 
Why do people always keep old raffle tickets in their wallets or purses when the draw was months ago and they obviously haven't won?* 
Why do old aged pensioners always tell you their ages?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? 
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together? 
How does the man who drives the snow plough get to work? 
Why is the Welsh language spelled wrongly? 
How do you play Chinese scrabble? 
What colour hair do bald men put down on their driver's licence? 
What happens when curly haired people watch something that curls their hair? 
Why do psychics advertise? Don't they know who their customers are and shouldn't they seek them out? 
What would happen if night fell and the earth wasn't there to catch it? 
The black box flight recorder is painted orange, so why don't they call it an orange box?
When a fly lands on the ceiling, at what point does it turn upside down? 
Definition of pain - letting off wind in a space suit. 
Definition of sadness - dying of starvation in a food store. 
Definition of a "ghetto blaster". A terrorist in a slum neighbourhood. 
Definition of "drag racing". Racing from Point A to point B while wearing clothing of the opposite attire 
Is it because light travels faster than sound that some people appear bright until you hear them speak? 
If it is zero degrees outside today and it is supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow how cold will it be? 
Why do you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead? 
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange? 
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it? 
If man evolved from monkey and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? 
Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to? 
How is it possible to have a civil war? 
If you try to fail and succeed, which have you done? 
Why is it called the tourist season if you can't shoot them? 
If the black box flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash why isn't the whole plane made out of the same stuff? 
If a dog's sense of smell is 100 times greater than a human's, why do they have to stick their noses up your butt?
Why is it when you fart you laugh, and when you burp you say pardon?
Why is the phone never engaged when you ring the wrong number? 
Where does the dark go when you switch on the light?
Why do bathroom stall doors always open inwards? There is never enough room to get out! 
Why do we have jumbo shrimp and freezer burn? 
How do painkillers know where the pain is? 
Why did you forget what you were looking for as soon as you leave the room?
If you can mix two primary colours of paint to make other colours, why do people bother to make other colours of paint?
How can you get your homework done at school if it is supposed to be homework?
Why can't you tickle yourself?
What was Captain Hook called before he lost his hand?
If you spin an oriental man in circles will he become disoriented? 
Why is Dyslexia so hard to spell?
Is God an Atheist?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? 
How come wrong numbers are never busy? 
If cats and dogs didn't have fur, would we still pet them? 
Why do FAT chance and SLIM chance mean the same thing? 
Why isn't phonetic spelled the same way as it sounds? 
Why are there interstate Highways in Hawaii? 
Why are there floatation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? 
If knees were backwards, what would chairs look like? 
How could there be self-help GROUPS? 
Why do they call it a TV set when you just get one? 
Can you be a closet claustrophobic? 
Why do trees grow straight up when growing up the side of a mountain? 
If your therapist asked you to "let your mind go blank", how would you knoe? 
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? 
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots? 
If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap? 
What is the speed of dark? 
What if you discovered an endangered animal that only eats endangered plants? 
If you invent an acid that could eat through anything, what would you keep it in? 
Why do they call them milkshakes if they have already been shaken? Shouldn't they be called "millkshook" or "milkshaken" ? 
Why do we play at recitals and recite at plays? 
Do vegetarians eat animal cookies? 
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themself is it considered a hostage situation? 
Why do noses run and feet smell? 
Is it possible to be totally partial? 
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we know? 
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in? 
If time stands still, how would you know if it time to return? 
Why is there an expiration date on sour cream? 
When sign-makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs? 
How do you know when it is time to tune your bagpipes? 

Copyright - Kevin Porter 2003